The Daily Muse

Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. Napoleon Hill


How do I begin?

Have you ever wondered how to begin something? Have you ever had this great idea, but did not know how to begin? To start? To do what you wanted to do?

Well, I can say, that I have had this experience and this thought for SOOO many things in my life. I get an idea and then I get stuck. Yup. I fall right into a rut. That rut is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear that I don't have the "right" experience or the "right" credentials. Fear that I don't have the money to support this idea or the tools or the resources....bla bla bla....the excuses are many, but the bottom line is fear.

Doesn't is seem so silly that just beginning something is so difficult? I mean, weren't we taught to "put one foot in front of the other" and to just start?

I remember very clearly a conversation I had with a former professor at my college. Since the days as her student, I expressed a deep desire to own my own company. After graduation I took the "traditional path" and looked for work with someone else. I found myself in many different jobs that were all so disappointing. The desire to run my own company knawed at me. I could feel it pulling at the pit of my stomach, turning and calling to me. But, I ignored it. Don't be silly, I thought. You don't know how to start a company. You don't have an MBA. What makes you think that YOU could start a company?

Hm. Well, fast forward many years later, I find myself on the phone with my former professor and I tell her that I still want to start my own company. And she says to me, "just do it. " What? What do you mean, just do it? She said again, "just do it." Yes, I heard you, but how do you begin? She said, "you just start." Again, yes, but how? How do I start? Where do I begin? I wrestled with that advice and those thoughts for another year. I took a baby step closer by accepting another job that required me to work more independently and be responsible for revenue and my livelihood. I called my professor and told her that I took this new job and her silence spoke volumes. I could hear her thoughts, why didn't you just start your company? You have all the capability and more to do this. After a few minutes, she said that's great. But, I know she was disappointed for me. She still encouraged me to keep my dreams alive.

Another year passes.
I hate this new job. I knew from the moment I started it that it was wrong. I tried to convince myself that it would be good for me. I would learn something new. Yes, me the cheerleader, miss enthusiastic could sell Life Insurance to people. "Alright! Do I have a life insurance policy for you!" Despite the fact that this job was not well suited to my personality or dreams, I did learn something new that helped me later on with my company, benefits, etc. I also learned more about myself and what I really wanted to do.

I thought about what my professor said, "just do it." Just start. I thought a lot about it. I spoke to lots of people for their opinions and advice on "how to begin." And low and behold, I did begin. It was very exciting and very scary, but I did it. I loved my business. It made my heart sing, but something was not right about the model. I just couldn't get it straight. Whatever I tried to do, it just did not go to the financial place I wanted it to go. So, after a few years of serious thought (yes, I operate in years not days or minutes...I exhaust every avenue...I can't let it go, until I have exhausted myself.) and exhausting myself, I decided to take a hiatus. I just stopped one day. I could not do it any more. I had wrapped up all the projects I was working on and just stopped. Silence.

Emails came. I read them all. In my mind, I responded to them, but physically I literally could not write a note even acknowledging that I received the message. I felt terrible. I chastised myself - what a bad leader, what a poor example I am setting...you can't just not say anything...you can't just stop...you are letting people down. This conversation has run through my head for, you got it -- a year. And now, here I sit after another year of working at a job I did not like wondering "how do I begin" my lifes work?

How do I begin writing and speaking and inspiring people? Do I write a book? How long will that take? What is the process? Do I write for a magazine? Will they even respond to me? Why would they want to publish my writings? I don't have the credentials. I have never "formally" written anything - that is, for a magazine or a book. I have had this idea of starting a blog, which is something I recently learned about at my last job.

Quick aside -- I do believe that everything happens for a reason and no matter how painful or disappointing an experience is, there is ALWAYS something to be learned from it. And there is ALWAYS a reason why it happened. You may not know now or even in a few years why it happened, but I promise you will figure it out at some point. You just have to ask for the answer.

So, How do I begin this blog?
Who would want to read it? What do I write about? I feel so strongly that what I write must be authentic. It must come from real life experience. It must be completely open and honest. GASP! What if I write something that someone could use against me? What if no one ever reads my blog? What if I disappoint people because my blog is not pretty with all kinds of eye catching graphics? What if I can't come up with compelling content EVERY DAY? SIGH.

Ok. Let me play around with this technology. Let me just see what it is all about. Wait. Months pass. Wait. Ok. I start. I create this blog. Ugh. It is SO PLAIN. Frustrations sinks in. I need a graphic designer. I don't know anything about coding or web design. AH. I don't have the money to pay someone. Hm. Maybe I am suppose to keep it simple. Maybe it is not suppose to be fancy and eye catching. Maybe I am suppose to show others that you can begin with something simple and not have to have it PERFECT right now. No, no, no. I couldn't do that. OF COURSE it has to be GREAT right away. Who would come back to it? So, I wait. The excuses mount...oh, I don't have enough time...oh, it is so plain...oh, I couldn't write something every day...oh, I need to find other writers....oh, what would I ask them to write about?

I wait another few months. You can see this process as you look to the December Archives on this blog. I wrote one quick test entry in December and then I dropped it until a couple of days ago. I clicked on my blog. Oh, it is so boring. What can I do to spruce it up? Same thoughts, fears, concerns played in my mind ... over and over and over again. I left it again. This time only for a few days. I had begun to speak with a few close colleagues and an author I met. I told them that I really, really, really want to write and speak. I feel so strongly that this is my destiny. I want to motivate people. I want to share life experiences to inspire them, to encourage them, to let them know they are not alone. There are so many thoughts I want to share that my fingers can't possibly keep up with my mind as it spins a mile a minute.

The message is clear: Just do it. Just start.

GASP! How?

Well, slowly, slowly, I let myself meditate on that concept "just start." The author says to me, all writers no matter how much they have published, confront beginning. The solution is always the same, just sit your butt down and start writing.

An email pops up on my screen from a friend who I discussed this with. The subject line simply reads: "Writing yet?" Her email suggests that I find my favorite pen and just begin writing.

Surfing the web last night, I find an amazing quote by one of my favorite authors, Emerson (see top of this entry). It reinforces all the messages and my gut instinct. It calls to me, just start. Don't worry about the rest, just begin and it will all come together.

The phone rings today. It is one of my dearest, most treasured confidants who guides me on so many things in my life. She says, "just do it." She encourages me to just start. To not worry about perfection or content or design or what people will think. She knows in my heart that this has been brewing for a long time. We thoroughly discuss this process and the importance of sharing this stage...overcoming my fears, finding the courage and just beginning by writing...keeping it simple...writing from my heart...writing about the experience. Her words and encouragement free me. They give me context. They give me a framework and a starting point. This time, I can HEAR the answer "just begin" and I KNOW "how to begin." I just begin by doing what I love and want to do....I just begin by writing this entry.

Begin doing what you love today. Don't hesitate. Don't fall into the rut of what you are suppose to do. Don't be afraid. Don't let fear consume you and rob you of your true happiness. Of course, I am not suggesting that you do something drastic that will negatively impact your life, rather I am suggesting that you just take simple steps to do what will make your heart sing. You don't have to create an award winning masterpiece today. The importance is that you just begin. Do it for yourself. Don't do it for others. Do as the lyrics in Leann Rhymes' song I Hope You Dance says: "Dance like no one is watching you." Do what you want to do as if no one is watching you, as if you did not need it to make you money. Make the time. This is your life and time is fleeting. Don't spend years like I did waiting for the "right time" for everything to be perfect. The world is waiting for you--now, to actualize your dreams to share your ideas and your visions.