The Daily Muse
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Kindness.
Kindess is such a simple notion, but many choose not to share it. Why is that? It is so much easier to be kind, than to be cruel. Don't you see the immediate positive effects you have when you are kind? Doesn't it feel so good when your kindness is appreciated? Yes, it feels awful, too, when your kindness is not appreciated. I have so many stories to share with you on this subject that I could be here all day writing away story after story. However, I will try to keep it relatively short for now and share just a few.
Did you know that "The shortest distance between to people is a smile?" That is such a fantastic quote I read some where, but do not recall who said it. Isn't it true? You can be walking down the street, smile at a complete stranger and guess what they smile back. Ok. Not always, but it is such an easy way to show kindness, just by smiling at someone and acknowledging their presence. Don't we all want to be acknowledged? To know that we are not moving through this world unnoticed?
When I was in high school I use to take the T in Boston for various visits. I loved to smile at people. I just loved to catch them off guard with this bright smiling face and elicit a smile from them. It was like a game that brought joy to me. I would sit on the train looking at people, wondering why the scowl on their face, what their day was like, where had they been and where were they going. I thought if I can just catch their eye and send them a smile, maybe that would brighten their day and lighten their load a little. It always made me feel good to get someone to smile.
Hm. That reminds me about another story. When I was in the thick of things with my own business, I use to offer consulting sessions on a variety of things, such as business development, career development, etc. At the heart of each matter, I wanted to know what the person was passionate about in order to help them direct their energies in the proper place. It astounded me that when I asked "What is your passion" my question was met with a blank stare. I asked again, "What do you like to do?" Same blank stare. Hm. Ok. I got it. What if I asked the question this way, "What makes you smile?" WOW! Did that question elicit incredible responses and people's hearts opened wide. Such a simple thing -- Smiling. It is a gift for yourself and a great gift to share with someone else.
Why is it then, that so many people do not choose to be kind? It is SO EASY and it benefits everyone. I remember as a 12 year old child learning what it meant to be a "bitch." I was so excited to go to overnight camp. Of course, I was nervous too. I naturally liked to help people. Well, one day at camp I offered to help a gal make her bed and she turned to me and said, "Why are you so nice? You are too nice." Stunned by her comment, I just stood there. I thought to myself almost in slow motion, what do you mean "too nice?" Is there such a thing? Why wouldn't I be nice? Of course I would be nice. This way of being was just engrained in me. It was who I was and still am. Unfortunately and fortunately through my years at summer camp I learned how to be not so nice and to disregard and ignore those who treated me poorly. And what was so sad is that when I ignored them and treated them the way they treated me, they actually seemed to like me more. Despite this learning experience, I did continue to be nice to people, but I was careful not to be "too nice" to certain people. Well, surprise of all surprises came at the end of the summer of my camper days before I moved on to being a counselor. I was given the highest award in Senior Camp for overall excellence .... from my peers. I guess in the end kindness won out.
However, this disturbing notion of being "too nice" has popped up through out my life. In business, I swear people misinterpreted my "kindess for weakness." For those of you who think this way, let me tell you kind people are not weak. They are not push overs. Enjoy the kindness they show you, because it is a precious gift that few others will share with you.
Not too long ago, I was working at a company where a woman was going on and on about how she yelled at this person and put him in his place, etc. Some of my co-workers looked on with excitement and thought this was so cool. I looked on with disgust and sadness. Why do people have to behave that way? Do they have to act that way to get approval from others? Do people see that type of behavior as a source of power and control? Don't they realize that they are hurting themselves in the end? Well, shortly after that get together, one of my colleagues came up to me and asked if that display of behavior was what we needed to get ahead? As a woman do we need to behave like that to gain respect? My answer to her was no. Sadly, I have had the same question many times through out my life...in moments when I felt weak and isolated and saw how that unkind behavior was almost rewarded. But, just as I told my colleague that that type of behavior is not what will help you grow or get ahead, I believe it to be true that kindness will always win out. This is not to say that some times you have to be firm about what you want. You just do not have to act that way. Contrary to what may appear to be approval, acting in an unkind way is actually detrimental to a person and the persons to whom they are being cruel. Inevitably, it will catch up with you. That negative energy will trap you. It is your fears, your insecurities manifesting themselves in this behavior.
Kindness is strength. It demonstrates self confidence and maturity.
Unkind or cruel behavior demonstrates weakness.
A Simple Act of Kindess
Have you ever been cut off by another car? Has that act elevated your blood pressure and elicited some choice words for your offender? Well, maybe that person did not mean to cut you off. I was at the gym recently and a woman I have befriended told me the most awesome story of a simple act of kindess. This is a true story. She was driving to a fast food place for lunch and someone cut her off. After ordering her food, she proceeded to the window to pay for her lunch. When she asked the clerk how much she owed, the person told her that the woman in front of her had already paid for her lunch. In that moment, she realized that the woman who paid for her lunch was the woman who cut her off. Wow. Isn't that powerful? Can you believe that someone would actually do that? Instead of making some obscene hand gestures or shouting some choice words to defend their mistake of cutting you off, this person displayed a powerful act of kindness by buying the woman lunch to show her apologies for a mistake she made.
So simple, yet so powerful.
Mark Twain's words eloquently convey the power of kindness:
"Kindess is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
You can feel the positive effects of kindess reverberate in your heart and envelope your being. It moves you forward. Try it. You may just like it. Be a little more kind, even when you really don't want to. The results may positively suprise you.
Mark Twain
Kindness.
Kindess is such a simple notion, but many choose not to share it. Why is that? It is so much easier to be kind, than to be cruel. Don't you see the immediate positive effects you have when you are kind? Doesn't it feel so good when your kindness is appreciated? Yes, it feels awful, too, when your kindness is not appreciated. I have so many stories to share with you on this subject that I could be here all day writing away story after story. However, I will try to keep it relatively short for now and share just a few.
Did you know that "The shortest distance between to people is a smile?" That is such a fantastic quote I read some where, but do not recall who said it. Isn't it true? You can be walking down the street, smile at a complete stranger and guess what they smile back. Ok. Not always, but it is such an easy way to show kindness, just by smiling at someone and acknowledging their presence. Don't we all want to be acknowledged? To know that we are not moving through this world unnoticed?
When I was in high school I use to take the T in Boston for various visits. I loved to smile at people. I just loved to catch them off guard with this bright smiling face and elicit a smile from them. It was like a game that brought joy to me. I would sit on the train looking at people, wondering why the scowl on their face, what their day was like, where had they been and where were they going. I thought if I can just catch their eye and send them a smile, maybe that would brighten their day and lighten their load a little. It always made me feel good to get someone to smile.
Hm. That reminds me about another story. When I was in the thick of things with my own business, I use to offer consulting sessions on a variety of things, such as business development, career development, etc. At the heart of each matter, I wanted to know what the person was passionate about in order to help them direct their energies in the proper place. It astounded me that when I asked "What is your passion" my question was met with a blank stare. I asked again, "What do you like to do?" Same blank stare. Hm. Ok. I got it. What if I asked the question this way, "What makes you smile?" WOW! Did that question elicit incredible responses and people's hearts opened wide. Such a simple thing -- Smiling. It is a gift for yourself and a great gift to share with someone else.
Why is it then, that so many people do not choose to be kind? It is SO EASY and it benefits everyone. I remember as a 12 year old child learning what it meant to be a "bitch." I was so excited to go to overnight camp. Of course, I was nervous too. I naturally liked to help people. Well, one day at camp I offered to help a gal make her bed and she turned to me and said, "Why are you so nice? You are too nice." Stunned by her comment, I just stood there. I thought to myself almost in slow motion, what do you mean "too nice?" Is there such a thing? Why wouldn't I be nice? Of course I would be nice. This way of being was just engrained in me. It was who I was and still am. Unfortunately and fortunately through my years at summer camp I learned how to be not so nice and to disregard and ignore those who treated me poorly. And what was so sad is that when I ignored them and treated them the way they treated me, they actually seemed to like me more. Despite this learning experience, I did continue to be nice to people, but I was careful not to be "too nice" to certain people. Well, surprise of all surprises came at the end of the summer of my camper days before I moved on to being a counselor. I was given the highest award in Senior Camp for overall excellence .... from my peers. I guess in the end kindness won out.
However, this disturbing notion of being "too nice" has popped up through out my life. In business, I swear people misinterpreted my "kindess for weakness." For those of you who think this way, let me tell you kind people are not weak. They are not push overs. Enjoy the kindness they show you, because it is a precious gift that few others will share with you.
Not too long ago, I was working at a company where a woman was going on and on about how she yelled at this person and put him in his place, etc. Some of my co-workers looked on with excitement and thought this was so cool. I looked on with disgust and sadness. Why do people have to behave that way? Do they have to act that way to get approval from others? Do people see that type of behavior as a source of power and control? Don't they realize that they are hurting themselves in the end? Well, shortly after that get together, one of my colleagues came up to me and asked if that display of behavior was what we needed to get ahead? As a woman do we need to behave like that to gain respect? My answer to her was no. Sadly, I have had the same question many times through out my life...in moments when I felt weak and isolated and saw how that unkind behavior was almost rewarded. But, just as I told my colleague that that type of behavior is not what will help you grow or get ahead, I believe it to be true that kindness will always win out. This is not to say that some times you have to be firm about what you want. You just do not have to act that way. Contrary to what may appear to be approval, acting in an unkind way is actually detrimental to a person and the persons to whom they are being cruel. Inevitably, it will catch up with you. That negative energy will trap you. It is your fears, your insecurities manifesting themselves in this behavior.
Kindness is strength. It demonstrates self confidence and maturity.
Unkind or cruel behavior demonstrates weakness.
A Simple Act of Kindess
Have you ever been cut off by another car? Has that act elevated your blood pressure and elicited some choice words for your offender? Well, maybe that person did not mean to cut you off. I was at the gym recently and a woman I have befriended told me the most awesome story of a simple act of kindess. This is a true story. She was driving to a fast food place for lunch and someone cut her off. After ordering her food, she proceeded to the window to pay for her lunch. When she asked the clerk how much she owed, the person told her that the woman in front of her had already paid for her lunch. In that moment, she realized that the woman who paid for her lunch was the woman who cut her off. Wow. Isn't that powerful? Can you believe that someone would actually do that? Instead of making some obscene hand gestures or shouting some choice words to defend their mistake of cutting you off, this person displayed a powerful act of kindness by buying the woman lunch to show her apologies for a mistake she made.
So simple, yet so powerful.
Mark Twain's words eloquently convey the power of kindness:
"Kindess is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
You can feel the positive effects of kindess reverberate in your heart and envelope your being. It moves you forward. Try it. You may just like it. Be a little more kind, even when you really don't want to. The results may positively suprise you.
posted by A-MUSE at 1:24 PM
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